Afterword

Afterword

 

I will do my best to put down on paper the things I have learned, having spent the majority of my life with Vicki, and having gone through “the valley of the shadow of death” as her escort and best friend. I enjoy the benefits of having done so. My life here on Earth is forever enriched because I was privileged to learn some very important life lessons while watching and listening to her. That is, I have learned some of the most beautiful and complicated choreography one can, and still remain tied to this mortal coil (as Williams Shakespeare would say it in Hamlet).

Right now Vicki is dancing face-to-face with The Healer.

Today I, too, am dancing with Him, but I can tell you...it’s hard to stay focused on His face and tuned into His voice. I believe we all do. As St. Paul put it, until we get to heaven we will dance “…  imperfectly,” and His face will look “… like puzzling reflections in a mirror.” He also says I will “… see everything with perfect clarity” one day, but until then what I see “… is partial and incomplete.” Soon “…  I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” (All from 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT)

Keeping the perspectives Paul shares with us in mind, ponder these things I now hold dear. As you skip and boogie through your own Dance of Life, I hope these insights will bless and inform you.

 

1.  Pursuing The Healer should always take precedence over running after a healing. Any healing. I say that because healings come and go. No healing lasts forever. But a deeper, more vibrant relationship with God that comes to fruition as a result of having to face a sickness or disease? Priceless! That relationship lasts forever.

2.  Ask, “What’s more important: God, or my health?” I don’t think it’s a question of either/or—either God or health. I do believe you can have God AND health. But it should be understood—it’s extremely difficult living on this planet keeping God number one and personal comfort number two. It’s harder still for someone who is desperately ill. It’s easy to lose sight of God while running after a healing. We’re all challenged, every day, to keep first things first, and best before good. God should be first because He’s the best.

3.  Healings aren’t formulaic according to the Word of God. In the written record of the life of Jesus, one day He healed a blind man by spitting on the ground, making some mud, putting the mud on his eyes, and telling the man to go wash his eyes in a pool (John 9:1ff). Another day He healed some blind men by touching their eyes (Matthew 9:27ff). Sometimes the Bible just says, “Great crowds came to Him, bringing...the blind...and He healed them.” (Matthew 15:30)  And that’s just the record of blindness being healed by God. So, if anyone suggests that God always heals the same way, every time, that’s just his or her opinion.

3.B Good people, through their personal life experiences, can come to believe they’ve discovered a formula that works every time, for everybody. I’ve seen and heard this myself.  I may be one of those persons from time to time. Reigning in ego and enthusiasm is another of life’s challenges, especially when someone has experienced a miracle. It’s very easy to place one’s faith in a formula. That’s why we humans are constantly asking, “So, what worked for you? How did you get that outcome? I’d like the same thing. What did you pray? When did you pray it? What were you feeling?” This goes back to my first point—I’ve observed that people go shopping for formulas when they’re desperate for a healing, or a miracle.  I understand why they do.  I don’t condemn them and neither should you.

4.   God’s Word consistently communicates that He will allow, permit, and even initiate a sickness or disease in order to draw people into a relationship (or a deeper relationship) with Himself. What I just said will make some folks just plain mad, but His Word tells us He will do so, and that He will never do so because He enjoys making anyone miserable. His goal, in whatever He does—in sickness or in health—is to solidify relationship, and seal it for eternity! He will also allow, permit or initiate sickness or disease to put a person’s faith on display so that He might attract others to Himself. If you’ve ever seen someone’s great faith or his or her intimate relationship with God exhibited in suffering, you know what I mean.

5.   It’s important to discover what real faith is. Real faith is not faith in a person’s ability to believe something. Anyone can believe something, believe it sincerely, and be totally wrong. (How often have we heard the example—that sincere, intelligent people of bygone years once believed the world was flat? Need I say more?)

6.   Faith is a funky thing. People place their faith, not only in God, but in other people as well. Look at the biblical record. In Acts 5:15 and 16, “… people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter's shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by evil spirits, and all of them were healed.” There are men and women today who have the “gift of healing,” and multitudes are genuinely healed when they are touched (or prayed over) by such folks. But it is the wise person who recognizes where the Power behind the healing is coming from. Those with the gift of healing are not God. Don’t get confused with who is God is who is not. Focus on Him, and let His servants have their rightful place.

7.  Healings are wonderful! But not everyone is healed. And no one that is healed stays alive forever. Jesus Himself raised Lazarus from the dead. But has anyone seen Lazarus lately? No, of course not, because Lazarus died...again...and that time he stayed dead. Why? Because God created these bodies of ours with an “earthly shelf life.” Everyone dies. We’re all destined to die and then give a record of how we lived. Don’t make living...and healing...more important than how you live, and why you live the way you do.

8.   Pain can be your friend. Pain reveals. Because God knows what’s in our hearts, and many times we don’t, He will allow pain and pressure to build to the point that it brings us revelation. Sickness and death reveal our priorities, our beliefs, and our loves.

9.   Praying isn’t just talking but listening, too. God has great ears, but He has a voice as well, and He always has something to say to the person who’s willing to listen. And prayer is always more effective if we get and stay real. When it comes to prayer, there’s a common temptation to try to put something over on God. Many times we’ll give in to that temptation when other people are listening in as we pray. Many times this happens in home Bible studies, church services, or when we’re with family and friends.  But God is no fool.

10.   Prayer is the best way to discover what friendship with God is all about. (Human relationships are forged by open, honest and intimate communication. We must verbalize our thoughts and feelings with others if we ever hope to be friends. It’s the same with God.) Please avoid a common mistake when developing your friendship with God, and that is NOT talking/praying OUT LOUD. Yes, He reads our thoughts. Yes, He knows what we need, even before we ask Him. Yes, He knows our dreams and ideas. But He purposefully invites us to say these things to Him, out loud. He wants us to speak our thoughts, our needs, our dreams and our ideas. It’s only then that He can interject His thoughts, needs, dreams and ideas into the conversation. [One more thing: most of us don’t know what we’re really thinking until we try to verbalize those thoughts. Only then do thoughts take on life. (And sometimes we hear just how dumb our thinking is or can be.)]

11.  Never ever shy away from asking questions when praying. God welcomes honest questions. He has answers.

12.  When it comes to treatment options, life-change, changing careers, engaging in a new business, etc., it’s good to get counsel. But remember this: everyone has an opinion. You may find ten different opinions from ten different people. [Take note: every web site has “the” answer. Every author has “the” cure. Every drug is “the” solution. Every treatment is “the” way out.]  The key to living a peaceful life is finding out what God’s opinion is. He probably has one, right? Find out what it is.

13.  And when you ask questions, don’t ask ones you already know the answer to. “Can I commit adultery, Lord?” “I’d love Your permission to divorce my stupid husband. Is that okay?” There are hundreds more invalid questions. God has already gone to the trouble of spelling out how He feels about a myriad of life issues. Do your homework. Don’t get lazy. Go looking. Look in the Bible.

14.  In a war, people observing a battle don’t have the same perspective as those in the battle. That said, don’t expect people to have your perspective, understand what you’re going through, or feel what you feel. To outside observers the peace, calm, assurance, faith, etc., that you have may seem totally out of place. Those qualities may even seem insane, given your circumstances. Have yourself checked out by a pastor, spouse or trusted believing friend. If they determine that you’re not mentally ill, most likely you’re experiencing something supernatural—something from God.

15.   Do all you can to develop an eternal perspective. “Here And Now” is not all there is. We live on a fallen planet. Bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people. Innocent people get hurt. God-fearing people get hurt. When pain, disappointment, dark nights, long and silent days occur, you don’t have to like them. You don’t have to welcome them. Just understand—they will come. Be prepared—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

16.   Christians aren’t perfect. Churches aren’t perfect. You’re not perfect. This is not to suggest that you make failure an accepted or expected outcome. But when failure comes, don’t freak out. Good people, even great people, fail. You’re not the exception to the rule. Your Pastor is not the exception to the rule. Prepare to move on by giving yourself, and others, “permission” to fail.  And when you fail, fail forward.

17.  Your family is not perfect. As if you didn’t know! I’ve observed families break up when unmet expectations encounter reality. Every family, and every family member, might go through the same experience and react or respond to it in conflicting, contradictory or contrary ways. Bolster yourself. Prepare for imperfection. Learn that loving deeply requires forgiving completely.

18.  I don’t mean to be unkind, but some people are plain stupid. You can’t fix stupid. You can educate the ignorant and inform the confused, but you can’t fix stupid. When encountering stupidity, move quickly on.

19.  Ah, but God is perfect! He never makes a mistake. And He’s never caught off guard. He knew. He knows. He understands. “Jesus wept.”

20.  Fear is a part of any battle. Sometimes it’s wise to be fearful. After all, you’re up against the unknown many times in life’s battles and only “fools rush in.” I’ve discovered the best way to still my trepidations is to focus my attention...and I mean focus...on God—who He is and what He is capable of doing. Anyone who says that you should never fear could be accused of not reading the Bible accounts of the great men and women of God. Moses feared. David feared. Hannah, a woman of great faith and the mother of Samuel, feared. The eleven faithful Disciples feared for their lives at one time—not just Peter. I could go on but I think you get it. Fears come. And fears will go if...what? If you and I allow God to dispel our fear(s) by first running into His presence and then inviting His power to reveal what He knows to be true about our circumstances.

21.  God will (1) prune us, (2) shape us, (3) mature us, (4) grow us, (5) test our hearts and (6) change our minds if we let Him. Life is a dance. Get used to following instead of leading. Learn to respond to God’s leading. Again, life is a battle—for your soul, your mind. Prepare your mind for battle by learning what God says about life and love and hardship and pain and sin and pleasure and death.

22.  Make “No Regrets” a daily goal. That is, at the end of every day take inventory. If you sinned, confess it to God and the person you sinned against. (Keep short accounts.)  If you succeeded throughout the day, celebrate!

23.  Keep touching. Keep laughing. Keep crying. Don’t pull away from the people—no matter how painful being around them can be. You’ll get through the pain, and after you have the people-connections will be sweeter, deeper, and lovelier. And while you’re at it, don’t allow food, television or the Internet to become more important than time with God, family and friends.

24.   There’s more, but you’ll have to discover those things for yourself.