Walking On Water

32.  Walking On Water

 

“There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.”[193]

 

“I was taught that everything is attainable if you are prepared to give up, to sacrifice, to get it.  Whatever you want to do, you can do it, if you want it badly enough, and I do believe that.  I believe that if I wanted to run a mile is four minutes I could do it.  I would have to give up everything else in my life, but I could run a mile in four minutes.  I believe that if a man wanted to walk on water and was prepared to give up everything else in life, he could do that.”[194]

 

April 19-21, 2001

I’m at the Potomac District “Women In Ministry” conference, and I’ll be speaking on Saturday.  I fasted three days this week for my ministry event next Thursday night (the 26th) at Trinity.  I’ll be sharing my story for the first time there, and I’ve heard that many unsaved and sick people are coming.  God has stirred my heart to believe for many people to be saved and healed that night.  I’m especially praying for Matt Sawyer, Robin Frary’s brother.  He’s only 21 and he has cancer. 

God led me to John 11:40 where Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”  I felt He was saying to me that my expectations for the evening were too small, and too “safe.”  I need to risk believing for something greater than an encouraging testimony. 

I don’t like to be disappointed, so it’s easier for me to keep my expectations small and safe.  God is challenging me to “step out on the water” in faith.

 

What did “step out on the water” mean to Vicki?  That phrase came from one of her favorite Bible stories growing up – the story of Peter walking on the water.  St. Matthew, Chapter Fourteen:

 22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowd.  23 After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray.  When evening came, He was there alone, 24 but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.  26 When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them:  “Take courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s You,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to You on the water.”  29 “Come,” He said.

   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.  “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.  33Then those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”

 

For Vicki the adult, “walking on water” was a euphemism for daring to believe God, not for SAFE or LITTLE things but for BIG things. 

She believed, for example, you can and should pray if you need anything from God – like finding lost car keys.  (I have.)  But while praying for lost keys is related in nature to praying for someone to be healed, it’s not the same as praying for a healing.  In both prayers God is involved, but finding keys pales in significance to, say, a blind man being made to see by the power of God. 

You can’t argue with her reasoning.

So, Vicki prayed for big things.  And she fasted.  She wanted to take every possibility of failure, or anything that might impede a miracle, off the table.  That’s why she would fast.

Here are some of the whats, hows and whys of fasting.  Fasting means “going without food and drink” to most people, and has been practiced by many religious traditions over the millennia.  Fasting can also mean abstaining from anything for a period of time – things like sexual activity, alcoholic beverages, entertainment, etc.

Numerous times I’ve taught about fasting as a regular part of our religious exercise, saying, “… when things desired from God become more important than food, water, sleep or anything else, you will naturally fast.  You will go without whatever it is that might distract you from receiving what you desire or hearing what you need to hear.” 

Most of the time fasting is intentional.  It’s deliberate.  It’s a prayerful statement you’re making with your body language.  You’re saying, “I’m desperate.”  When you need something from God that you believe is very important, life changing or life-saving, you should consider entering into a fast.

But let me be clear.  Fasting is not a means of “arm-twisting God,” or imposing our will upon Him.  You and I can chant, sway, worship, flagellate ourselves, go without food, water, or television with the hope of getting what we need from God.  But if God doesn’t want something done, for whatever His reason or reasons, be they communicated to us or not, whatever it is you want done won’t be done.

Fasting is important to God.   Fasting reveals the content of the heart of the petitioner.  It is also a great way of getting rid of distractions.  Jesus didn’t say, “If you fast.”  He said, “When you fast.”[195]

Vicki went to write,

I’m also to challenge our people to fast and pray with me for this special event.  My healing is not just so we can have goose-bumps and feel warm and fuzzy.  God has a purpose for everything He does, and His purpose for this goes far beyond what we can even think or imagine.  He will reveal it [His purpose], but He wants us to anticipate greater things.  He wants our expectations to grow.  “Everything is possible for him who believes.”  (Mark 9:23)

We should be willing to give up a few meals and a few hours of sleep for the salvation of souls.  “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”  God hears our prayers and they do make a difference.  Let’s join Him in what He wants to do!

 

May 1, 2001

I spoke Thursday (April 26th), and 8-10 people responded for salvation, including Matt Sawyer!  Many came forward for prayer.  Joe Anderson was there, and prayed with us.

 

Rev. Joe Anderson was a significant person in our story, and yet Vicki didn’t record in her journal how we met him.  It’s important that you know.

Today Joe is the pastor of Messiah Christian Church, but when Vicki and I met him he was the lead pastor at a large Methodist church in our city.  At the Methodist church Joe was having Wednesday night “Healing Services,” and God was showing up!  For years he had been mentored by a man with the gift of healing through “the laying on of hands.”  (“Laying on of hands” is a means of invoking the Holy Spirit during baptisms, blessings, ordination and healing services in Christian churches.)  A special “anointing” was present in Joe’s life but he was very quick to point away from himself and to Jesus.

People were being restored to health at these weekly healing services.  Cancers were dissolving, diseases were being cured, alcoholics were being detoxified, and other life-controlling addictions were being supernaturally and permanently broken.

Vicki and I had heard about Joe and the Wednesday night services, so about three months before Vicki was healed we had attended one of the meetings.  She had already heard from God that He was going to heal her, and we thought He might do it at one of Joe’s services.

God really touched Vicki the evening we went.  We left the service even more convinced that God was going to intervene in her life, but Vic wasn’t healed that night. 

A week or so later she and I went to see Joe, and he walked her through a time of confession and prayer – methodically delving into anything from her past that might have opened a door in her spirit to Satan’s attack.  If there was a spiritual “cause” behind the cancer, or if there was anything still present in her life that might impede her healing, Joe and Vicki set out to expose it in order to break its hold.  Joe called that encounter “a freedom appointment.”  She and I knew it was a divine appointment.

While Vicki wasn’t healed as a result of going to the Healing Service or seeing Joe, we both knew God loved us and that He was in control.  By going to see Joe we had crossed every “T” and dotted all the “I’s”.  We weren’t leaving anything to chance.   The best gift God gave us as a result of going to the Healing Service was Joe Anderson.  We had a new friend.[196]

Vicki continued,

For some reason I was very disappointed in the service.  I had pictured God moving in a more visible way, and was so sure greater things would be accomplished.  After two days and nights of struggling with my disappointment I think God has given me a little insight.  I had allowed my “great faith” to dictate what I thought God should do – AGAIN!  It’s what I spoke about – deciding how and when God should act, and not waiting on His timing.

Yes, God wants to do mighty things at Trinity and in Richmond, but He has a plan.  He will act in His way, and in His time, and in the meantime I have to be obedient and not weaken in my faith..  I am part of HIS plan.  He is not a part of MY plan.  When He worked in and through the lives of Moses, Joseph and Abraham it took a long time to see the fulfillment of His promises. 

In Isaiah 46:10 and 11 it says, “I [God] say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.  What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.’”

I need to trust God to bring about His purposes in His time, and be willing to play whatever part He honors me with.[197]

 

Now enter with me an imaginary theatre where everything is finally in place.  The tickets were sold out weeks ago.  The audience is in the house, and is showing all the usual signs of excited anticipation – last minute trips to the restrooms, chatter, and complaining that the theater is either too hot or too cold.  It’s opening night, and the curtain is about to go up.

The sound technicians are standing at their dual 48-channel “front of the house” Mackie® Onyx 4880 mixing consoles, having done their last sound checks.  The conductor has warmed up the orchestra, and is now standing in the pit with baton raised, waiting for the signal to begin the Overture.  The stage manager is standing in the wings with “The Book” opened wide on his lectern.  He’s got his Shure E5c stage monitoring earphones and mini-boom microphone on, and he’s finished his run of cuing tests with his crew. 

The sets have been meticulously designed to create the illusion of a far-away place.  The backdrops, or “flats,” have been painted and “spattered” to give the appearance of three dimensions. 

The lights have been hung, aimed, and tested, too.  The lighting director is sitting with his technician at the Leprecon® LP-X24 console, waiting.

At five minutes past the hour, and on a signal from the production director seated in the control booth, the stage manager’s index finger touches the first listed cue in The Book and whispers into his mic, “Roll one.”

That simple command, much like the conjurer’s “abracadabra,” creates a swirl of magical theatrical response – the house lights fade to black, the audience settles down and becomes quiet, and the conductor and drummer simultaneously pick up the beat of the “click track” in their headphones.  With the first downward thrust of his baton the curtain begins its rise and music enters the hall.  Simultaneously the Act One, Scene One lights begin to go hot.  It’s show-time!

The “beginners” are at their blocking points, and the “follow spot” finds the lead dancer.

The follow spotlight is a very bright, lightweight, semi-portable and hands-on instrument attached to a tripod or boom.  It is used to “follow” (hence its name) a performer around the stage in a beam of light.  It serves to keep the audience’s primary attention focused on that performer’s action in and impact on the story being told.  In years past the follow spotlight was called a “lime.”  That’s why we use the phrase “in the limelight” to describe someone who is the focus of attention.

Some people love the limelight.  You know who I’m talking about – the class clown, the town bully, or the neighborhood’s social princess.

Sometimes it is said that the spotlight “loves” an individual.  It’s as if certain people on this planet were created for a lead role.  And it’s not because they are beautiful or handsome, blessed with superhuman strength, or in possession of a genius’s intelligence.  (Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, and a hundred others come to mind here.)  It’s because there is something intangible, some uniqueness, that leads us to recognize and acknowledge that they were “made for the part.”

Vicki didn’t love the limelight … but now she knew, way down deep inside, that she had been chosen for a special role in God’s great production.  It was a role she would play in her lifetime, for as long as she lived.   And she knew her living would matter.

Sometimes Vicki would refer to that “knowing” inside her spirit as her “destiny.”  Most of the time she called it “my ministry.”  Other times she would call it “my purpose.”  Because she had an eternal perspective she would never settle for mere existence.  She knew now that her life had meaning.

June 2, 2001

God is so amazing!  Gary [Vicki’s brother] gave his heart to Jesus on Sunday, May 27th.

I began praying in earnest two weeks before I went to Florida for his salvation.  As I was praying I said, “It’s time for his salvation.  It’s time.”  And I sensed Jesus agreeing with me, and that it would be done.

Wendy and I watched my March 17th video with him, and he wept and held me for a long time.  He said he had been on the verge of tears for two weeks, and didn’t understand why.  Thank You, Holy Spirit!

I had the joy of leading him in prayer as he accepted Christ.  Mom and Dad were so thrilled when he told them.  Truly nothing is impossible with God!

I’m still having significant pain at the base of my tailbone, and Dr. Jones doesn’t know why.  I haven’t felt release to really “press in” in prayer, to ask for healing yet, as though the pain may have a purpose.

 

Vicki used the term “press in” to describe a completely different kind of prayer – one unlike her normal daily conversations with God.  From time to time she would pray until she knew she had an answer.  Sometimes she would pray for an hour, and other times she would “press in” or “pray through” for days.  She described the pressing-in process as “… an intimate and urgent time of prayer, many times involving intercession[198] for someone that had a huge need” or “praying about something very important or urgent.”

She went on:

Perhaps it’s to keep me on disability [with the bank she worked for] a bit longer, or just keep me focused on the fact that my life is literally in God’s hands.  I feel that my healing is long term, but even if it should only extend my life for a year it would be worth it, to see Gary and Sami come to Christ!

 

She had no way of knowing how often those words would be a comfort to us.

June 4, 2001

I’m so overwhelmed by the goodness of God.  I had the privilege of speaking in both services at West End Assembly of God yesterday, and God “moved” in such a wonderful way.  I sensed His presence so strongly as I was speaking, and 50-60 people raised their hands for salvation.  Several hundred came forward for healing prayer as John’s[199] altar workers stretched across the front [of the auditorium] to pray for them.

I prayed for so many with cancer and MS.[200]  I can’t wait to get reports back of what God has done.  I know that many were touched and healed.

The day started with me finding Chris lying on the bathroom floor, with stomach cramps.  He had been up during the night, sick.  I felt that it was an attack from Satan, and I felt led to rebuke Satan and ask God to heal Chris – to be the first miracle of the day.  The pain left him and he was able to shower and drive me to West End – Praise God!

I’m amazed and so grateful for all God has done, and the opportunities for ministry that He’s opening for me.  It’s far more than I could have ever hoped or imagined![201]

 

July 14, 2001-A,

On June 24th I spoke at Southside Church of the Nazarene.[202]  I was so touched by the people that spoke to me afterward.  One woman said her son had been on drugs and drinking alcohol for sixteen years and didn’t attend church.  He was here today and raised his hand for salvation!

On June 27th I spoke at TikVat Israel,[203] a Messianic/Jewish congregation.  Lowell and I prayed for 20+ people for healing.

I went for a bone scan on June 15th.  It showed nothing unusual.  That’s really good news.  I still have no idea what’s causing this pain [in my tailbone].