Miracles Happen!

The Intervention

 

30.  Miracles Happen!

 

“The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.”[185]

 

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.”[186]

 

“When a miracle happens, even if not to you, its nature is to naturally expand. You can almost feel the warmth on your face.”[187]

 

Dr. Chip Jones was trying not to run into the main lobby of Henrico Doctors Hospital but he was having a difficult time of it.  He had to be thinking, “What would people think if they saw me, grinning from ear to ear, rushing into the in-patient surgery waiting area?” 

In the main lobby of the hospital a large group of Vicki-supporters, me included, had been passing the time while she was in the O.R.   Dr. Jones hurried over to me, beaming, stroking his forearms while loudly saying, “Lowell, look at my arms!  Look at my arms!  I still have the goose bumps!  We ALL had goose bumps in the operating room!”  He grabbed my hand and rubbed it on his arm.  That’s when every hair on my arms came to attention!

He was still trying his best to exercise some restraint, but Chip was about to burst with excitement.  Then, just like that, he took a deep breath, and calmed down.  There was about five seconds of total silence while he gathered himself, and then he modestly and deliberately whispered, “Lowell … we have our miracle!”

Only two hours had gone by since Vicki had gone under anesthesia.  Now, with a tear coming down his check, Dr. Jones recounted how he had opened Vicki’s abdomen and immediately noticed that the tumor was “encased in a leathery shell.”  He then followed his instincts.  Chip gently encircled the tumor with his hands, like someone trying to catch a trout by reaching into an icy mountain stream.  He began pulling the tumor away from the walls of Vic’s abdominal cavity.  The attending vascular surgeon, Dr. Brown, and the surgical nurses mostly watched as Jones lifted the 4-kilo growth up, made a small incision to completely separate the tumor from the abdominal wall, and place it on a cloth-draped stainless steel cart.  (Dr. Brown had been asked to attend in case there was an emergency; the tumor was located in a blood vessel-rich environment.)  Chip simultaneously noticed that on each face in the room was a look of wonder and amazement.  Every person in the surgical theater knew they had just witnessed a miracle.  Nothing was ordinary or routine about this surgery.

Dr. Jones produced two Polaroid photos of the cancerous mass from his pocket.  It was just lying on a light green cloth.  It didn’t look so dangerous – not now.

Dr. Jones had left Vicki to be sewn up by his assistants so he could race upstairs to tell us the good news.  She hadn’t needed any blood transfusions because she lost so little blood.  There had been no need for the vascular surgeon’s expertise.  Everyone in the operating room was now sitting around asking each other, “What did we just see?  Have we ever seen anything like this before?  How did that leathery shell develop?  No blood loss … how can that be?”

The waiting room walls couldn’t contain our joy!  Cell phones were engaged.  I called my parents … then my in-laws.  My friends began to share the excitement with all those from Trinity and the Christian community in Richmond who couldn’t be physically present.

Vicki was healed!

There wasn’t a dry eye anywhere to be seen. 

Some other people, waiting for word on their loved one’s surgical results, joined in our celebration.  One of my dearest friends and colleagues, Brent Ritter, went over to a piano that was in the hospital lobby, a instrumental leftover from a Christmas event.  He sang “Amazing Grace.”  We joined in with all our hearts.  We didn’t care about the funny glances, or how politically incorrect we were being.  Why should we?

Three days later the pathology report came back with a new, wonderful word:  “infarct.”  That means dead!  [A cardiac infarction occurs when the blood supply is cut off to a portion of a heart (heart attack) or a brain (stroke), resulting in dead tissue.] 

The language in the report is quite impressive.  “Specimen #1 … grossly it appears to possibly represent necrotic tumor.”  That means the tumor was a lump of dead tissue, with “… 90% appearing necrotic, while the other 10% appears to be in the process …” of dying.

Here’s Vicki’s spin:

February 4, 2001

WHERE DO I BEGIN?

God performed the miraculous, and I am humbled and in awe.  On January 26th, Dr. Jones removed a “football-sized” tumor in only two hours, with no loss of blood, and by practically lifting it out with his hands.  Not only was there no cancer in the surrounding tissue, but the tumor itself had had the blood supply cut off, and had only a few surviving cancer cells.

God actually did to my tumor what He did to the enemy armies in 2 Chronicles 20 – He caused the enemy to turn on itself and destroy itself, just like He promised me!

I am amazed at His love and faithfulness!  I truly did believe that He would heal me, but the reality of it is hard to absorb, especially after Mike’s death.  How does He decide who will live and who will die?  Why did He choose me to live?  Although I may never know the answers, one thing I do know:  I owe a greater debt to God than most, and out of my gratitude needs to flow my service and total obedience to His will.

I determine in my heart to pursue God and His purposes every day that He gives me to live. 

It’s an incredible honor to have your life extended by the direct intervention of God.  I want my love for Him to be evident in everything I say and do.  I really have no idea where my journey will lead now … but I sense that I am to continue to trust Him for ONE DAY AT A TIME, and not worry about where that day will take me.  I feel so inadequate to carry this message of grace and power and love, but I know He’s able to show His glory through me.  He must increase and I must decrease.

To add to my joy, Brandon recommitted his life to God last week in Liverpool when he went back for a visit.  He had gotten back into drugs and his old lifestyle, and it feels that he will literally die if he doesn’t get out of Richmond.  So … in just ten days he’s moving to Maui to live and work.  I know God has a wonderful plan for his life, and has been protecting him, even to this point … and will continue to do so.  (He cut off his dreadlocks and looks so cute and handsome.)

 

Vicki and I learned something about miracles!  First, they’re just that – miraculous!

Duh.  But the reason I write that is because you and I live in such a wonderful age, and the word “miracle” is so loosely thrown around.  It has lost it’s punch.  Here’s what I mean, for example:  “The Miracle on 34th Street” – a movie about Santa Claus.  And there’s the Miracle Sealant Company®.  Carnival cruise line has a ship christened, “Miracle.”  And there’s the Children’s Miracle Network®, Miracle Ear™ hearing aids, Miracle Truss™  steel buildings, and “SysFixMaster Software©” – nicknamed “MIRACLE … because it is really miraculous.” 

See what I mean?

Dictionaries define a miracle as “an act of God,” “an amazing event,” or “a marvelous example.”  An act of God is certainly what I have in mind when I speak of Vicki’s healing, but with such a gap between meanings, it’s no wonder our culture can’t appreciate fully what had just occurred in that operating room … and in our lives.

The second thing we learned about miracles is more profound.  We discovered that in the Church, an act of God is an uncomfortable thing.  A miracle requires a churchman or woman to face, at a practical level, what it means for God to intervene in the affairs of the human race.  And because the majority of church attendees, though they might pray for miracles, would just as soon have God keep His distance and not drastically affect their individual lives.  We learned that a miracle can be an unpopular event, even for the people who are supposed to welcome them.  Miracles call for a response.  You can’t ignore a miracle.

Third, Vicki and I learned that being the beneficiary of an act of God can cause unusual psychological and spiritual stress for the recipients.  For one thing, there’s something called “Survivor’s Guilt,” a deeply disturbing emotional crisis brought on by one person’s death and another person’s continued existence.

Vicki was feeling some effects of survivor’s guilt when she wrote about her feelings on February 14, 2001:

I have so many conflicting emotions … emotions I don’t understand.  I actually feel guilty for being healed when others have died or are dying.  (I think of Audrey Smith, Helen – Kendalle Stock’s mom, Mike Barclay, and others that I’m hearing about.)  People are already calling me to talk to their friends who have cancer, and I honestly don’t know what to say.  I know part of what I’m feeling is post-surgery weariness, but there’s more. 

This wonderful thing God did for me seems too holy to try to explain.  How do I transfer my faith to others when I believe my healing had more to do with God’s grace and mercy than my faith.  It certainly wasn’t based on merit.

There is no formula or adequate explanation.  Mike and Sarah [Barclay] had GREAT faith, and he died.  Why did I “deserve” to live?  I can only conclude that it wasn’t that I deserved it, but that Christ desired it.

I may never fully know why I was healed, but I must believe that He has a plan for my life.  It may be for Lowell, Brandon, Chris, or Trinity, but it involves me being here and serving Christ and His Body, the Church.

It’s all a jumbled mess right now.  I should be ecstatic.  Instead I feel melancholic; some joy mixed with sadness; some fear, some confusion.

It’s as though Mike’s death has thrown a blanket of sadness over my joy.  The timing – Mike’s death and my healing – seems so BIZARRE!  There must be a reason for this timing thing.  What are we to learn from this?

I am truly grateful … and yet, overwhelmed.  God knows me personally, and He chose to intervene in time and space and kill my cancer so that I would live.  What is next?  What message does He want to speak through my life?  If I listen, I know He will tell me.  This HAS to be more about Him and not about me.

We met with Dr. Jones yesterday and he was still smiling.  Ann Kistner told us he was “giddy” when he called them after the surgery.  We talked of how we didn’t understand why it took so long for the tumor to change and become “operable,” but that God must have had a reason.

We always want answers to our questions and our prayers quickly, but God so often works on a different timetable than our own.  He sees time differently than we do.  He desires to accomplish things in us that will last for eternity, but we grow impatient and aren’t willing to wait.

 

Just two weeks later we were on our way to Maui … to dance The Hula together.  Oprah Winfrey once said, “Every day bring a chance for you to draw a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance!”[188] and she’s right, but especially right when you’re dancing in Hawaii.

March 6, 2001

I’m sitting in one of the Kapalua Bay Villas on the west end of Maui, looking at a breath-taking view of the Pacific Ocean, and listening to waves crash against the rocks just below our condo.  This has to be one of the most beautiful places in the world!  We have five days left, and I already hate the thought of leaving this place of beauty and wonder.

Our week here has been relaxing and rejuvenating so far.  I’m slowly healing for my surgery, and my strength is beginning to return.

Lowell and I came to celebrate life, and see the whales.  I’ve spent hours watching the surface of the water, and I have yet to see a whale!  Oh, I’ve seen a few water spouts, some fins, and some tails … but nothing that matches the wonder of the pictures I’ve seen of a 50-60 ton humpback whale clearing the water.

God seems to be speaking to me about “waiting” … again.  He’s using the whales, and my waiting for the whales, to talk to me about what it means to wait for His perfect timing.  (There are hundreds of whales here, but they’re just not visible.  Others have seen them, but not me.)  He’s talking to me about His perfect timing in healing me, and he’s talking about me waiting for His perfect timing when it comes to where He will lead me next.

The whales are something like God.  Like I said, we’ve been told the whales here by people who have seen them.  I’ve seen small signs of whale presence (flippers, tails).  But I haven’t seen “the real proof” – I haven’t seen them leap out of the water.

God’s like whales.  There are signs that He’s around … everywhere.  And others have seen Him at work, and they talk about His power and majestic nature.  But there are people who haven’t seen what they want, so they refuse to believe.

God and whales.  People are impatiently waiting to see whales leave the water and show themselves.  And people are just as impatiently waiting to see God show Himself.  But these people aren’t willing to sit long enough (by the water or in their crisis of faith) to see what they’re waiting for.

We’ve been told by our friends here in Maui, “If you watch and wait, you will see a whale.”

I’m sure that seeing that huge animal rising from the water must be very much like seeing God show His glory and power … like when He healed me.  Ever so often God does something so big and so incredible that we can’t ignore it, and we can’t deny Him.

 

I’ve yet to see a Hula danced with a frown.  Only one time can I remember seeing a Hula dancer move virtually expressionless – without the slightest suggestion of emotion – but that was a very unusual dance.  The Hula is meant to be a celebration!

Our trip to Maui was definitely a celebration.  We spent hours reflecting on the goodness and power of God, His victory over disease and death, the love of our family, the commitment of our friends, and the fellowship of believers in our city, Richmond.

Almost two weeks after we arrived on Maui, and just a day or two before we left the island for home, God graciously gave Vicki another reason to celebrate.  It may seem like a small reason to you, but to Vic, it was another example of how much her Father in heaven cared about the desires of her heart.

March 24, 2001 – back in Richmond, VA

I finally saw the whales, and they were so amazing!

Brandon came to Maui three days before we were to leave for home, and the three of us when on a “whale watch” sailing boat.  It was great! 

And so was seeing how God is working to bring Brandon back under His covering in Maui.  The people of Kumulani Chapel have opened their hearts and homes to him.  From free housing to a car to a job – within his first five days here, God is showing His love and concern for Brandon.  He seems to be coming back to God, and we’re so grateful.

Chris is in Costa Rica this college semester.  He has been in Nicaragua, too, for two weeks, and he’s now in Cuba for two weeks.  Soon he’ll go to Guatemala for three weeks.  He’s learning so much, and growing in his faith in God.  I’m so proud of him.  I know God has a wonderful plan for his life.

Now that I’m back in Richmond, the last week has been both exciting and challenging.  I spoke to 150 ladies at my “Walk On The Water” luncheon, and many of them were not saved.  It was thrilling to be able to share what God has done in my body, but it was very unnerving to give an appeal for salvation at the end, since it was uncharted territory for me.

I’m trying to figure out what the primary message is that God wants to speak through me.  Invitations to speak are coming in quickly, and it’s more than a little scary.  I know that God saved my life for His purposes, but what exactly are they?  This can’t be just about encouraging other Christians in their faith.  I get this sense that it has to be about reaching lost, unbelieving people, too.

I was beginning to feel very anxious and overwhelmed with all my questions, and with all the possibilities [of ministry] when God spoke two words:  “Choose wisely.”  I will have many choices to make in the months ahead, but it’s critical that I take them to God and ask for His wisdom … and permission.

I was voicing all my questions and fears to Lowell, and he responded in a way that caught me off guard:  frustration.  It hurt me at first, but then I realized that if he continually brought his fears and confusions about his ministry to me very often (like I have been doing continually for months now), it would make me feel very insecure and anxious.  He told me that I need to take my questions to God, and seek my answers from Him. 

Occasionally there will be times that I can go to Lowell with issues.  I know God intends for the two of us to work together on some level, but this is all so new to us.  Our roles are changing, and it’s awkward.  We’re in a huge time of transition – again!  I sense that the only way we’re going to get through this time to the other side is to depend on God completely – for guidance, wisdom, humility, patience, and more.

I’m speaking at Trinity on Thursday, April 26th [2001], and many visitors will be there.  There will be unsaved people, and people with cancer.  God is showing me that my expectations for that event are too small.  He wants my faith to increase – to believe that He will be present to touch people and change lives.  It’s so much easier to believe God to work through Lowell or others than it is to believe that God will work through me.  I have to learn how to empty myself and allow only God’s Holy Spirit to move and flow through me.  (I met with Adina yesterday, and she encouraged me to trust God completely, to not worry about tomorrow’s event, and to not worry about what I will do or say.  Instead, she encouraged me to trust God to give me the message and direction to go in.)